Saturday, January 19, 2013

Primeval Season 1 Review

Since I haven't posted a TV review in a while I thought we were all due for a little Primeval action so with out further delay here's my review/thoughts as I watched episode 3 of season 1.

Episode #1.3 A prehistoric aquatic creature like a huge crocodile appears in a London swimming pool, eats a life guard, then vanishes. Later a Special Forces diver vanishes, but then the diver's bones turn up in a flooded basement in a town some way to the south west. Nick Cutter predicts that incidents will occur at places on a straight line through these two locations on the map of southern England. Eventually Cutter is allowed to go through an underwater anomaly, tethered by a safety rope a mile long. Finally, amid a prehistoric landscape, he meets his long missing wife.
My Notes and totally random thoughts while watching:
So a recap for those of you not paying attention to the previous 2 episodes which is sad if you aren’t b/c while the recap is helpful it’s not really at all. I do have to admit that I enjoy the opening song and I have no idea why on that but there you go. I have a feeling I am not going to look at a pool in the same way again after this stupid show. Seriously they take the one place I actually feel safe and corrupt it with an alligator of the bloody things. SO apparently if you are a lifeguard you can swim after hours. But, seeing how they are a boy and a girl I’m going with doing it after hours… Then again maybe she just wants her hair to be blow dried…Holy SHIT that man was just eaten like whole…. UGH.
Have I mentioned how much I heart the British accents? And seriously would Anthony be able to hear you through the glass? Cut to a meeting room with Conner throwing crap through the anomaly. Cutter tries to explain that the anomalies may not be as new as we thought. It appears we may have another one. Steven cannot remember a thing after he went into the tunnels. Abby shows up dressed up which is new. Conner wants Steven’s Ipod if he dies. We learn that Steven has a girlfriend which throws off Abby b/c she believed that Steven likes her. Aww Conner tells Abby she looks great as the girl thing LOL he’s so smitten that its cute.
Conner tries to call out Steven on being single and how he made Abby think so. But, Steven thinks it was Conner and while flattered he isn’t his type LOL. Oh noes a poor innocent girl is going to jail. Cut to a beach party or just a bunch of people floating in canoes when something nasty pops up. Oh wait its Anthony’s torso…My God Cutter is freaking hawt and he doesn’t even have a British accent I think it’s like a retarded Scottish accent… or Irish IDK either way it’s nice to hear and see.
Okay maybe I’m slow but if an alligator is eating people why the HELL would you want to go underwater where it threw up a body it couldn’t digest in a black scuba suit and a light… where does that get smart? I am digging Claudia Brown – I use to sit in Civil Servant meetings that were so boring they made suicide look like a exciting career option LOL. Oh look Conner has found something! Damn even the birds are scared people in scuba gear be careful or you might be next.
Oh well never mind you scuba guys b/c the steam gave away where the anomaly is. Cutter - You don’t have to worry about me Claudia – I’m not I’m just thinking of all the paperwork I’d have to do if you drowned. You have no idea the amount of paperwork involved. Love that girl.
More people go into the ocean while Conner and Abby go and collected samples. And for some reason Conner defends Steven and then changes his mind b/c let’s face it Abby was made for Conner ;-)
Uh Oh Conner knows the creature is coming and calls on Abby to help point it out. Now that is creepy how do they keep from booking it? I have to say I would have freaked the F@ck out and ran like the little B@tch I am…
It circles Abby and she is for sure nervous Conner tries to come to her rescue but she tells him a harsh whisper DON’T MOVE

Can I say I am really surprised that an underwater guy in scuba gear doesn’t get eaten? Conner yells for Abby to move and they do barely getting away thanks to a stupid fence Conner beats at the creature with an oar which it manages to get stuck like a tooth pick I hate when that happens. Needless to say it goes back to sea and back through the anomaly. Not picking up any snacks on the way then it closes.  Conner guesses what it was that nearly ate them.

Apparently I was wrong a diver did go through and didn’t make it back. Abby hugs Conner b/c he saved her life. Back to the board room where we compare anomaly to earthquakes and fault lines. I love when Cutter thinks he is right ALL the TIME. So now we are at a house for some reason… what’s going to happen an alligator in the toilet? OH GOD b/c I needed that image…
Nope apparently it’s just going to flood the basement. And Conner’s friends well idiot friends who didn’t do him any favors last week are back. Conner thankfully is smart enough to walk away. Except they don’t accept it, and of course they have to interfere again. Uh Oh Steven is having flash backs and sees Helen again. How come his jacket doesn’t fit? Surely he could afford a bomber jacket or a more fitted jacket. And the secret comes out apparently Cutter has known for a while that Helen is alive. But, Steven tries to defend her. OH and for those of you keeping track Cutter is Scottish which might explain the accent and why it’s so different. Course I’m use to Beckett @PaulyMcGillion on SGA and his accent is just damn sexy.

Who the hell has a crane in the basement? That’s a weird statue oh shit no it’s not a statue its real and pecking/eating a man LOL why was that funny I had no idea it was real so it was funny, but not b/c you know someone actually died from it *clears throat*. That’s not right stupid plumber shouldn’t have been eaten. Oh dead scuba man appears magically and he has a handkerchief that happens to be Helen’s the plot has thickened. At least now we know where the urban legend of an alligator in the sewer comes from or I guess basement in this case. Who the hell still carries handkerchiefs? I mean besides Helen. Oh Claudia pulls out he handkerchief is like don’t lie Cutter. Cutter tries to defend himself by saying it’s a message that Helen is waiting on the other side. Claudia is pissed why you didn’t tell me YOU LIED to all of us. Cutter pulls the she’s my wife. Claudia cries foul.

Steven tells Abby that he remembers and knows why she is mad at him. Abby isn’t hearing any of it. Oh noes the big man on campus arrives its Lester himself.  Conner – she’s still alive how did I miss that? Lester tells Cutter he will bring her back as a ultimate threat bring her back or we cut the ties. Steven… you have an hour of air and a mile of rope. In two hours we will reel you in… how does that make sense? I mean if you only have an hour shouldn’t you reel him in at like say 55 minutes you know just to be safe? I think if I were Cutter I would ask for a new team mate seriously someone who knows that reeling me in after 2 hours means I’m dead. What if there was no land on the other side? How would that extra hour help me in any way shape or form? And while we are on the subject why a person would go through when you have no way of knowing when the stupid anomaly will close? And why when you got to a space in time in the past where LARGE creatures are trying to eat you would you yell at the top of your lungs for your ex-wife who doesn’t give a shit about your safety or she could have met you half way…

Oh good she is swimming nude that’s not sexy at all. I really hate how she always keeps her shirt unbutton so that her boobs show.  And how did her clothing remain so clean and intact for 8 years. What’s with the full body cover that covers her whole body but her boobs? I really hate that she is trying so hard to seduce the man who loved her until she faked her death.

Apparently there’s been an attack the creature how traveled through the anomaly into the sewers. Nope sorry I was wrong on that... ignore that last comment. Nick wants to know why Helen came back after so long. Her response I’m horney… no wait that’s human and I only want to share it with you. Insert hair flip…Come with me in a sexy voice. Nick is like f@ck you. Helen – you’re rejecting me? Man talk about taking something personal geez. And then attacks him asking how he calls himself a scientist Cutter’s like no I call myself a human being and then leaves her ass. HA Helen with the boobs showing take that b*tch.
Oh his way back through a monster tries to eat him. OH NO! Watch out Nick! Yeah he made it Shit no he didn’t swim like the wind bullseye. He’s not going to make it let us not forget the British shows have no qualms of killing main stars. Oh Crap there goes his air. Stupid Steven I told you that was a bad idea. Oh crap the creature ate the other creature that Nick managed to wound. But, hey Nick you have no air let’s just stay in the past and watch this as your lungs can’t handle it. Thank God his time of 2 hours was up or he would’ve died. Oh wait he’s not breathing but, no worries cause Claudia Brown knows CPR so at least she can kiss you instead of Steven. Claudia orders the special forces peoples to go and get the B*tch Helen (my words not hers) b/c it’s out of her hands. Nick wakes up and apparently he is not allowed to leave the ambulance b/c of what he might do. Why? B/c they have arrested Helen they dragged her ass out.
And next time on Primeval… well I won’t give that away now will I.

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